The Girl of My Nightmares

I kind of had a bad day today. To get straight to the point, I felt fat and unworthy. Actually I should have been happy and glad. So many good things happend to me today. At my exam today I did really well, I got an A+. But for me it is just okey. The uperfection girl is never satisfied. I also got my new iPod, which I already love. Everythime it goes the right direction and something good happens to me, I can’t enjoy myself. It doesn’t seem like I deserve to be happy. The fact that I feel like a bad anorexic. I know that I don’t want to live my life with anorexia, but I just want to feel good about myself. Not to feel the pain. To be perfect. But I guess, there are nothing that is perfect.

 

The girl of my nightmares

Sitting alone on a cold bar stool,
Your cold, hard eyes make me feel a fool.
Pastel-white features,
High cheek-bones,
Scarlet-blooded lips and deathly tones.

The girl of my nightmares,
Sultry and corpse-like.
The girl
Of my
Nightmares.

Brittle fingers,
And thin cigarettes,
So hard to tell apart,
She hasn’t spoken yet.
You put your hand on mine,
Death white on brown,
Those whirlpool eyes;
Well, I begin to drown.

The girl of my nightmares,
Erotic and skull-faced.
The girl
Of my
Nightmares.

Anorexic beauty,
Feather-weight perfection,
Anorexic beauty,
Underweight
Goddess.

Sitting alone on
A cold bar stool, your
So hard to tell apart,
She hasn’t spoken yet.
Pastel-white features,
High cheek-bones,
Scarlet-blooded lips and deathly tones.

The girl of my nightmares,
Sultry and corpse-like.
The girl
Of my
Nightmares.

Anorexic beauty,
Feather-weight perfection,
Anorexic beauty,
Underweight
Goddess. 

 

heart-balloon

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2 responses to “The Girl of My Nightmares

  1. same! i can’t have a good day when i’m feeling fat… it just isn’t possible. whever i walk by a reflective surface i HAVE to look… and then i just feel like crap afterwards. 😦

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