Some days I just want to break out and be free.  To let go of all the pain and hurt inside me. Become like a butterfly, instead of a caterpillar. To face my fears and d to bee more me. Embracing myself and enjoying life. This is big words, from such an unworthy person like me.

Going into my eating disorder, I didn’t want to be unperfect. I had to loose weight and become the perfect creature. Great at school, allot of skills and outgoing. On the road, I realized I had lost myself. And I also lost my friends. I forgot what having fun was. I couldn’t feel anything. I was like a barbiedoll. Pretty, but silent. Although I felt I was so ugly, that I couldn’t show myself in the public. Too ugly for others to be with and I felt unworthy.


Now, I’m on my way to find myself again. Of course I have days who really sucks, but on the other side I have days who are great. On days I feel like shit, I try to motivate me as much as I can. Some days it works, other it doesn’t. 


“It does not matter how deep you fall, what matters is how high you bounce back.”


“It’s the feeling of suffucation that forces us to breathe”

-Moshe Feldenkrais


“How does one become a butterfly? Well, the person must want to fly so bad that they’re willing to give up being a caterpillar.”


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