My dream, my life

I don’t remember if I have told you guys, but I didn’t make into the exchange program to the US. Yes, it truly hurt so much when I got the message, that they denied my application just because I had been sick in the past. If you ask me, I think that is just bulls**t. Those who have beaten anorexia or any other eating disorder, are stronger than than most people. They have gone through hell, and managed to dig a hole and crawled out. I think I am stronger that most people I know. “What doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger”.

But this summer, I’m not letting that stop living my dreams. I desided to move foreward, and take my dreams in mye own hands. I’m going away for a month to spend time in California. I’m going to enjoy myself, get to know new and exiting people, go to the beach almost everyday, go shopping as often I can, surf the waves of Long Beach, go to San Francisco, and just take in all the great experieces California has to offer.

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5 responses to “My dream, my life

  1. Hi,
    I went to the US as an exchange student while I was struggling with anorexia. I didn’t want to belive it was as bad as it was, so I lied my way into the program and went to live with a family that made everything twice as bad.

    I started throwing up everything I ate, and I rearly ate, I went to the gym every weekday and went running/swimming in the weekends. After three months in the US i realized I couldn’t live like that anymore, I tried to pull myself out of it, but without anyone to talk to about it (They didn’t know I had a problem with eating) I started having suicidal thoughts. Luckily I had a few friends back in norway that knew about my previous problems, so I talked to them, and decided to talk to my liaison, and I was soon on a flight home. That choice saved my life

    I know it’s easy to say that “I’m healthy now, so I haven’t got anything to worry about living in the US alone”, but trust me, it’s much harder than you might possibly imagine. I don’t know you, so maybe you are healthier that I was when I left, or stronger, or more percistent to stay healthy, but when you are going to a country and to a family that might be eating on a restaurant three times a week, take – away two times a week, and when low – fat milk in the US contains mor calories than “lett melk” in norway, at least with my mindset, everything got pritty hard to deal with.

    I have struggled with eating desorders since I was twelve, I left for the US at seventeen, and truly belived I was healthy. Today I’m 20 and I’m still struggling. I’m not anorectic anymore, but my mindset are totally wrong, and I’m struggling with food everyday.

    I love how your mind is working and that you belive that everything that doesn’t kill you make you stronger, and that’s a good belive to have. Continue beliving in yourself and your qualities, and you can still study in US someday, maybe in college or university :)

    • Thank you so much for you comment. I’m so sad on your behalf, and I hope you get 100 % healthy! Now I have got used to the thought of not going to the US for a year, so I’m okey about it. I was like really sad when I found out that I couldn’t go. But now, my friends means so much more to me, than a year abroad. I wouldn’t leave then for a second (Exept that I’m in California for a month right now). So, we’ll see what the future will bring for both of us.

      A lot of luck senecerely, the lotusness.

  2. I seriously love your blog.. Excellent colors & theme. Did you create this amazing site
    yourself? Please reply back as I’m attempting to create my very own site and want to learn where you got this from or exactly what the theme is named. Many thanks!

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